As a running coach and Exec. Director of a kids running club on Long Island, I run all the time.
 
But when people tell me they hate running, I always say “Me too!”  They usually laugh and make a comment that I don’t understand.  They also mention that I run a lot (True).  They tell me that you can’t run marathons and say you hate running (Not true).
 
They are wrong of course.   I hate running.  I usually hate every minute of it.  Getting out the door is hard.  Running 13.1 miles often seems impossible.  On days I run 3 miles, it can feel as difficult as running a marathon.  And I always want to just skip it!
 
But I have discovered some tips that help me get out to do my runs or help get me to the dreaded gym.  Here are a few I use that may help you if you are feeling the same way.
 

1.  FINDING one exercise that you love to do.  This will be an exercise program that you look forward to.  If you explore different classes, you might find one that you truly enjoy doing from beginning to end.  This may be something that is traditional, like running or it may be trending like surfboard class.  Explore different programs and see what brings you joy.  Try to do that class 1 to 2 times a week because it makes you happy.

  2.  Realize that the exercise you love right now (see #1 above) may change. This is important to understand.  You are allowed to get bored.  You should accept that you might not find one type of exercise that you consistently love.  You may stick with it or you may decide after 1 month or 1 year, it is no longer fun.  Don’t get confused that everyone must find ONE EXERCISE that they love for their entire lives.  Don’t look at people who have been doing yoga for 14 years or running marathons 5 times a year and believe that you should be like them and “find your thing.”  We are all different.  The most important part of exercise is to keep moving.  Explore and try different programs and accept that you may always be changing your “favorite” exercise program.

  3.  Accept that you will also have to do exercise programs you hate too- Besides your workouts that you are exploring or loving, you must also have 1 or 2 exercise programs that you do each week that you do not enjoy.  Maybe it is weight lifting or running.  Maybe it is a one-hour treadmill walk you do three times a week at the gym.  Adding different exercise programs help work different muscles and also helps with creating the habit of working out regardless of how you feel about the program.

  4.  Schedule the exercises in- Make a plan to schedule in 1 to 2 days of the exercise you will love to do and also schedule 1 to 2 days of the exercise programs you don’t like.  Look at your calendar each week and do a little homework to figure out what will work based on your work schedule, your family life and even the weather.

 5.  Remember the feeling AFTER THE WORKOUT (see the pictures of me running above?  All at the FINISH LINE!- Happy!!)  This is something you can hold on to.  You may hate the beginning and you may hate the middle but you will love how you feel after you are done.  And you can be proud of yourself for getting it done.
 

I made an observation recently.  I am a little bit less of a jerk than I used to be.  Yes, it is good news.  I am so glad I made this realization.  (You have to be happy about the little things in life).   And, of course, there is a story that lead to this realization.
 
Last Sunday, I was setting up the field at the park in Sayville for my Kids Run Long Island kids run fundraiser.  I was placing cones and listening to my music on my headphones and feeling pretty excited for our run.  A car drives up to me and stops so that the passenger side is next to me.  It is a regular SUV, clean with no signs or stickers. I smile and look in and say a very cheery “Hi!”  I assumed it was one of my participating families checking in to ask about the possible rain coming in later that day. 
 
The driver lowered the passenger side window and kind of leans over towards me.  There is a woman in the passenger side closest to me.  She says nothing. They are 30 to 35 years old.  He is does not say hello.  He just states in a very firm and direct voice “Do you have permission to close this road.”
 
Now, I didn’t close the road but let’s not get stuck on the details.
 
Without identifying himself, he then says, “Do you have a permit to be setting up in this park?”  Again, his voice is not friendly but instead extremely confrontational.  I am definitely stuttering.  I am so taken aback by his tone and his aggressive assumptions that I didn't belong there.  I say,” Yes, I am having a run here today. I have a permit.”  (Later I kicked myself.  I had a right to ask who he was before answering his questions. Why didn’t I ask him any questions!)
 
He demands, “Show it to me.”  The woman in the passenger seat now puts her head down.  She won’t look at me.  She seems truly embarrassed.  I respond, “I don’t have it right here.  I am setting up. I can get it.”  He then states his next order, “Go get it, I’ll wait.”
 
As I was looking at him at that moment, at his angry voice and his posture and the way he was challenging me as if I was lying without any information, I suddenly had this realization.  I am brought to another time.  I can see it very clearly.
 
 I suddenly saw myself in him.
 
He was me!  He was me 15 years ago.  Wow!  I was just like him.  Before children, before Kids Run Long Island, before real life problems, before I became a little less of a jerk.
 
 I remember myself so clearly.  I was the type of person who attacked first, and asked questions later.  I would always assume everyone was lying and then have them prove the truth afterwards.  I fought with many people – people I knew and complete strangers.  I remember those confrontations.  I remember feeling powerful over people.
 
But then I got older.   I had three children.  And things changed…. quickly.  I experienced love and pain, and serious sickness and real life scares.  I saw other families suffer life changing traumas and heartbreaking challenges they would have to deal with forever.
 
Having kids and getting older has changed my mind.  It changed my ability to empathize and understand we all have a story and a different path.  I became more understanding. I learned to support others and to not assume.
 
It has lead me to create a non-profit and work with kids.  It is the reason I have developed programs to get kids healthy.   It makes me fall in love with all my little runners at the finish line of my kid races.
 
And that is good and bad, but mostly good.
 
On that Sunday, I start to move towards my car slightly to get the permit and suddenly he demands, “What organization are you with?”   I respond, “Kids Run Long Island” (again, I am angry at myself later- why am I answering him so quickly like he is my boss!).  He says something like “carry on.”  He then hits the gas pedal and pulls away from me so fast you can hear the wheels squeak and his car is completely out of sight before I look up.  I have no idea why that was enough for him to move on.  He was gone before I could respond. 
 
Because I am a little less of a jerk, I will not be angry with him.  I will try to understand that maybe he is sick of people setting up in the park without a permit.  Or maybe he is suffering from a family tragedy or maybe he lost his job.  And I will wish him a quick path to being less of a jerk.  (It is a nice place to be.)
 
Sometimes age lead us to being a little less of a jerk.  Sometime, having children will lead us there too.  For me it was probably both and I am happy to have found a place where I can notice the good and not assume the bad in people. (It definitely makes life easier and more fun.)
 
And maybe he will get to the same place soon too!  He was young.  He has some time.  I just hope he develops it by May 20th.  That is when I will be setting up again for our kid race.  Don’t worry - I will bring my permit!!!
 
 
 
 

With the creation of Kids Run Long Island, I have had a lot of support and positive words from family and friends.  It has been wonderful to explain the goals of offering running programs to kids in low- to moderate- income schools during the school day to ensure it is accessible to every child.  I love explaining how the program will make running a fun activity with games and relays.  And I'm excited for our kids to complete their first family fun run with their parents and teachers supporting their accomplishment.

Recently, a friend said to me “To be honest with you, I hate to run.  So many people can’t run when they are older.  Don’t you think a lot of students will stop running as soon as the program is over.  Running isn’t for everyone.”

Of course my friend is right.  Running is not for everyone.   Many kids who complete my Kids Run Long Island running program will not keep running as adults.  Many will find other sports to fall in love with.  Many will learn that they just don't like to run.

Kids Run Long Island is about running and being healthy but it is also about something else.

I have three kids.  My beautiful, sassy, strong middle child HATES TO RUN.  She absolutely hates it.  And I am a running coach.  I teach kids and adults to run every day.  This is what I do and this is what I love.  My middle daughter has completed many of my running programs and she also completes two 5k (3.1 miles) races each year.  Even though she HATES running, she knows that she will run those two races every single year.  It is expected of her and she has done it successfully for the last 5 years. 

See, my daughter who hates to run- if you ask her if she has ever run a 5k, she would say in a very loud and clear and confident voice, “Yes.”  She may say a few other things like “I hate it!” or maybe even “Mommy makes me.” but she will always says “Yes, I can do that.”  And she is very proud of that.

Every time our kids say they can do something challenging, it matters.  Every yes equals a success.  It builds their confidence and self-worth.  It teaches them slowly to view themselves as strong and confident individuals in some part of their lives.  It is so much better than the answer “no” or “I don’t know.”  

Kids Run Long Island is definitely about running and being healthy.  It is absolutely about making fitness fun and working as a team.  But it is also about kids being given the opportunity to say “Yes” to a new challenge and believe in that answer.   I think every "Yes" counts in building our kids up and making them feel strong both mentally and physically.  And that is truly what Kids Run Long Island is about.

Kiersten Bartolotta is the Executive Director of Kids Run Long Island, a non-profit with a mission to inspire kids to be the best they can be through healthy living and fitness at Long Island schools. She is always in search for schools/parents that want her programs for their students, and support from companies and the pubic who want to make a difference in Long Island childrens' lives through donations, sponsorships or volunteering time.